Transforming Grief


Yesterday was a rough day for me and Mr. Wonderful.  We attended two funerals.  Two funerals for men about our age.  Two wives much like me burying their husbands, children much like ours saying goodbye to their dad.  Two mothers grieving for their sons.

It was hard.  And by the end of the day, I was in a very contemplative mood.  Once we got home I began to recall the words I’d heard earlier, promising myself to find the lesson in them, and to put it to use.  It was the only gift I had left to offer the two friends I’d said goodbye to.

My mind went to something a friend recently posted on Facebook.  It was a message about good intent being of little value if not backed up with action.  I thought about all the times I say I’m going to do something, and don’t.  Specifically about all of the times I tell friends we need to get together, but never do.  I let the trivial actions of my days take over, and my well-intentioned invitations go to the back burner until next week.

That’s not good enough.  I have to do better.  Because I was reminded yesterday that next week doesn’t come for everyone.

So I’m challenging myself – and you – to think about the separation that sometimes occurs between feelings and intentions and actions.  And close the gap.  I want to reduce the regret I have over phone calls I don’t get around to making, visits that I’ve left unscheduled.  I want to know that I’ve offered my hand to those in need.  I don’t want anyone to wonder whether or not I love them.

In the Lord’s Prayer we say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  The Golden Rule speaks of action: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  It is clear that God intends for us to receive in the manner in which we first give.

♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦

It’s not enough to love someone.  You must tell them.  You must show them.

It’s not enough to feel compassion.  You must reach out to those who are in need.  You must touch them.

It’s not enough to foster relationships that are easy.  We must find the good in others, even if it is buried deep.

It’s not enough to love God.  We must live according to His word, and be disciples of that word.

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7 Comments

Filed under The Lucky Mom

7 responses to “Transforming Grief

  1. Karen Basilica

    This truly touched me as well…..thanks so much!!!

  2. Sandy

    Profound words that touched me deeply. I think I will print this out, with your

  3. Heather Holbrook

    Tears welling up! Thanks, that was excellent!

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